Running a little low, but got some great news!

I can't believe it, but the four month post-op mark has come and gone!

Unfortunately, the past couple of months have been pretty rough for me.  I mentioned briefly in my last post that I was feeling pretty fatigued, and I am still fighting that seemingly endless battle.  I went in a couple of weeks ago to meet with my Restless Legs doctor, who keeps up with my iron levels.  I have been sleeping a full eight hours at night (or a solid ten to twelve on the weekends!), and still need a couple hour nap when I come home from work.  My legs and arms were extremely achy, both at night and during the day, so I finally made the choice to get my iron levels checked as the sensations were keeping me from falling asleep and interferring with my sleep at night (low iron levels can exaserbate RLS symptoms).  Because I have never been technically anemic, I get my ferritin levels checked (opposed to my hemoglobin levels) to monitor my iron; ferritin is the form in which your body actually stores iron in your body...from my understanding, the hemoglobin levels are a more immediate access of iron for your body, whereas the ferritin levels are more of a stored form that your body accesses when your immediate levels are getting low.  In short, low ferritin levels can lead to low hemoglobin levels...when your iron stores run low, your hemoglobin can start to dwindle.  My iron levels have never been above 30 (normal ferritin levels run anywhere from 11 to 307), and doctors opt to treat anyone (especially those with RLS)with levels under 50 with supplements.  Admitedly, I quit taking iron supplements last fall after an on and off relationship with them for the past couple of years due to the side effects (anyone ever been on that stuff?  holy upset stomach, nausea, and GI issues!).  I had been feeling so tired, so easily exhausted, that I was expecting my levels to be down to nothing...and found I was at a personal all-time low of 11.  So, running a little iron deficient, but technically still within normal values.  Because the low dip was likely due to blood loss in surgery, my doctor was hesitant to go with an iron infusion, so we opted to start back on a different form of the iron supplements.  I am still feeling quite exhausted, but am tolerating the new supplements much better than the first kind I was on.  The new form has a coating on the pills, whereas the old ones didn't, which I have found to be much more tolerable and I don't constantly burp them up or feel so nauseous.  The GI issues are still there, but not as bad as I remember so I think that I have found something that works for me!  Unfortunately, it takes awhile for iron stores to get back to normal, but hopefully I'm on the right track and will be feeling better within the next couple of months.  I'll be tested again in three months to see if my levels are rising.

This week marks my being four months post-op, which also means that it is finally time for some imaging to see if this surgery was successful!  Yesterday, I had an x-ray and a CT scan, and today I met with my orthopedic nurse specialist to discuss the results.  I was quite nervous, considering this was the first time we would actually be able to tell if my body was taking the surgery in stride and fusing around the grafts and bone implants, and...

I'M GROWING BONE AND MY BACK IS STARTING TO SHOW SIGNS OF A SUCCESSFULL FUSION!!!

My CT scan revealed a tiny bit of bone growth from my own vertebra into the areas of donor bone and bone grafts, and my nurse specialist told me I was right on track!  Actually, he said I was "top of the class," and that I'm even ahead of schedule in terms of how I am feeling!  That was really great to hear, and has helped to ease the pain of this entire process!  Unfortunately, I am still having incredible pain in my SI joint.  He said that there is no easy fix for this, and that we'll need to get into physical therapy to try and ease the pain.  They wait until four months post-op to start any type of rehab following this surgery, as they want to be sure the bones are fusing before trying to fix the muscles.  Being that it is almost a year to the day that I initially injured my back, he made the point that I have probably not used the muscles in my back and pelvis as I should be in nearly a year, so that could really be a large part of the pain.  I have my first appointment with rehab in two weeks, where I hope to learn some good exercises to get those pelvic ligaments back into gear.  He stressed that your body hurts when you overdo it as a sign that you need to take a step back; he said that this isn't a reason not to do things, but rather try to do something for less time the next time you do it if it causes you pain.  The x-ray also indicated evidence of arthritis in my SI joint on both sides, so that might mean a lifetime of daily Aleve doses!  Again, he mentioned multiple times that I was doing great in terms of recovery, and that I really need to keep in perspective that I had some major work done on my spine only FOUR MONTHS ago.  Sometimes it's hard to deal with the pain and how limited I feel in my daily activities, but I really need to take a step back and take in what I've been through and realize that loss of a year of recovery is only a very limited time in comparison to a lifetime of feeling better!! 

It really has been a rough couple of months for me.  I have been so exhausted, and so out of my element, I just don't feel like myself.  I have been very frustrated with the increased pain in my SI joint, and it is so difficult to find motivation to get out and walk and do my exercises when I'm in so much pain, but I do need to keep in mind that I have come a far way in only a little bit of time.  I can't wait to feel a little more like myself again, and my appointment today definitely helped give me a dose of "keep-it-up." :)  Today my nurse specialist asked me what things I'm not doing that I wish I was.  I got pretty emotional (which isn't too hard or uncommon with this constant fatigue, just ask Leo!), and replied that I miss playing outside, I miss gardening (I didn't plant any flowers this summer, and only bought a couple of pre-potted plants; and my backyard flower bed is overcome with weeds!), I miss playing and running around with my nieces and nephews like I used to (this was especially hard this past weekend when I got to see my niece Addison for the first time in nearly a year!), I miss spending time doing summer outside activities (I have yet to canoe in the new canoe we bought last summer!).  I do miss these things, and I wish that I could get through a day without being in bad pain.  Fortunately, the mornings are my best time (once I get out of bed and stretch out a bit), and that's when I work (I start back at full time last week as well...that's a great milestone as well!).  Unfortunately, lying in bed and putting pressure on my SI joint and pelvis is very painful, and being a side sleeper doesn't help the SI joint pain at all.  I'm quite excited to start therapy and know that I am working towards cutting back on the pain.  I really need to keep in mind all of the things that my nurse specialist reiterated with me today: I am only four months post-op from major back surgery, and I am on "top of class!"  :)  I can't imagine having to deal with continued lumbar pain, and need to remember that I have come a long way. 

Tonight, Leo took me out to dinner and we celebrated my fusing bones with our neighbors at the local restaurant Twigs (hello, butternut squash ravioli!!), and this was a great reminder of all of the great things that we have and can do.  It's easy to lose track of all of the things that I am blessed with when things seem to be keeping me down...I need to do better at remembering to be thankful for all that I have and all of my parts that don't hurt!  Thank you to all of you who have helped with support, given me a hand when I couldn't do something for myself, and been a source of good spirits when I sometimes lose track of mine...I couldn't be doing this without you!